How to Deal with my alcoholic parents?

It is quite abundantly seen that a child or a teenager is having this problem.

Alcoholic parents can be a lot of problem to them. Although this is mostly seen in the developing countries, the most developed nations witness this problem as much.

There are some unacceptable behaviors like harassment, assault and physical attacks from the alcoholic parents on their children and spouse.

This not only affects the children physically, but it has a huge effect mentally as well. It is no surprise that having to deal with alcoholic parents can lead one to failure in the things they do because they can’t keep the mental composure.

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So, this article will give the idea about how to deal with these parents of yours who have been highly affected by alcoholic behavior and taking them back to sobriety looks a lot of work. There are some ways to deal with your alcoholic parents. First of all, let’s see what problems such parents create. You might be a victim to these problems.

Problems with alcoholic parents

Having a parent that is alcoholic is always a problem. In some cases, both the parents are alcoholic and this only makes the situation worse. So how does the child get affected by that?

As you would expect, the children are affected quite directly and severely as well. Here are some problems that you may face or you may be facing currently due to your parent’s drinking habit.

We can categorize these problems differently in the case of a father or a mother.

Father: In the case of father’s habit of alcoholism, children face problems like:

  • Monetary/Financial problems: Provided mostly fathers manage the finance of the house, an alcoholic father may just spend extravagantly on his drinks and not think about the family’s expenses and the child may not get enough financial support for his education or even normal living.
  • Physical Abuse: Statistics show that the hyperactivity caused by alcohol on fathers are directly causing physical abuse on their children. A child may get beaten for no reason and just because a father lost his mind due to overindulgence or because the child suggested that his father shouldn’t drink. These problems are quite abundantly seen and some worse scenarios like fathers raping their daughters can also be read on the news.

Mother: When a mother is alcoholic, her children goes through problems like:

  • Lack of care: It is believed that mother gives children with nurture and care. A drinking mother, and hence, an irresponsible mother may not do that. This way a child may miss out the nurture and care he/she needs. And this is a huge problem to small children that are just growing as they require a lot of care.
  • Lack of support: A child of yours want you to believe in him/her and support him/her in everything they do. A child expects support mostly from their mother because most of the children are close to their mothers. Teens have been affected and influenced by negative things in cases where there is no proper guidance and support from their mother.

This shows that both of the parents leave their children with a lot of problems when they decide to go all in on alcohol. These are just some problems that the child faces.

There are different physical, social, and mental things that are to be dealt with the child of an alcoholic parent.

As you may have seen in movies, being a child of the alcoholic parent is not easy and some suggestions below should help you to deal with those problems.

Ways to deal with Alcoholic Parent

You need to be quite wise about this one. Dealing with alcoholic people is not everyone’s piece of cake.

You need have patience and determination to putting em on the right path.

The way you behave and treat your alcoholic parents has a lot to do with how they take their alcoholic problem. So here are the tips on dealing with your alcoholic parents.

Acknowledge the problem

Do not try to hide the parent’s drinking problem from anyone. This may hide the habit for a while but won’t do well for your parent.

You need to admit that your parent has this drinking problem and try your best to make him/her realize as well. Acknowledging the problem helps a lot in taking control of the problem because you know the problem and what you need to improve.

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For assistance, you can even talk to your friends, teachers, counselors, or people who are willing to help in such cases. Professional advice can be of great help as well.

Don’t blame yourself

Some teens are not aware of what affects their parent’s drinking habit and they think that the reason is themselves. Remember that you have nothing to do with your parent’s overindulging or not drinking at all.

Do not hesitate to tell them what wrong they have been doing and how they can improve it. Showing your emotions and effect you are having due to their drinking to your parents can help them realize.

Instead of just burying your feeling you need to be aware of your emotions.

Talk to some friends and know how you feel.

Similarly, take a note about how you feel around your alcoholic parents. This will help you in showing them how you feel and stop you from pretending that you are okay.

Learn healthy coping strategies

You may just not be able to control your parent’s drinking or how they behave when they are drunk. But you can change the way you deal with those problems.

When you are out of any good ideas, you need to go the hard way and deal with those problems.

You can learn some healthy strategies of coping with problems unlike your parents and you can just make good decisions just with that. The idea is not to be influenced by any activity done by your alcoholic parents.

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You can have your relatives, teachers, friends and other people tell you how they deal with things like disappointment and frustration can learn from there as well.

Nowadays, school counselors are as much of help as normal parents are so utilizing that opportunity.

Find support

Sharing your feelings with other can be of good help.

But don’t share your problems with anyone. You need someone trustworthy to help you by listening to your problems and by suggesting how you can deal with such problems.

You can tell your problems to your close friends, school counselor, coach, or favorite teacher so that you can find some support.

If your school has a separate officer for drug and alcohol abuse education, you can talk to them and get some knowledge as well.

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There is a vast community of people who are looking forward to helping people like you who are having trouble with loved ones that are alcoholic.

There are support groups that are both open and confidential, organizations, etc. You can take part in them. One of the best places to go is to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

There is no entry fee and you can take your alcoholic parents there if the will go. You can know how the different people out there dealt with this problem of alcoholism and how you can benefit from it.

Find a safe environment

You may be having a very difficult time staying with your alcoholic parents and you may be thinking of running away.

If by any means, you feel that you are not safe at home and if there is a history of your parent’s assault or attack on you when he/she is alcoholic, call police right away and take some legal advice and if there is any family member or anyone in danger due to your parent’s behavior, call 911 immediately.

Stop the cycle

As mentioned above, do not be influenced by the drinking habit.

There is some genetics involved as well as the environment in which you grow up that affects your habits in the future, especially teenagers have this urge to drink because they find adults doing it and think it is a sign of being mature.

But this alcohol problem forms a cycle and a chain and you should not join that cycle or the chain and you should try breaking the chain.

You need to understand the problem alcohol creates and never get into that cycle.

And if your parent’s use alcohol to cover up problems like fear, tension, and boredom, you must tell them that this only makes the problem lot worse than it already is.

Don’t lose hope

Alcoholism is a disease. Do not let it become contagious. You will not be able to stop anyone from drinking unless they themselves are committed to leaving their habit.

All you can do is show your love to them and support them towards sobriety. You need yourself strong in this situation and you have to make yourself more in control of the whole situation.

You need to keep your composure so that any complication that may arise can be looked after with ease.

In this way, a teenager or a child can deal with a problem regarding a parent’s drinking habit. The main idea is to not lose hope and to just keep your composure. Any severe difficulty that you might face that challenges your living must be reported so that you do not hamper your life in the process of making your parent’s habits vanish.

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